Tim Hilsabeck

Tim's Birthday, June 23, 2008

Tim's Birthday, June 23, 2008

SHARED MEMORIES OF TIM

06-23-2023,  Diane Schafer -  Happy 39th Birthday Tim.  Love you so much and think about you everyday. Miss you ❤   Love forever , Happy 39 th Birthday Tim. I remember the day you were born, it was such a happy memory. I am grateful for having you here for the 24 years I did have with you and I have so many wonderful memories. It's hard to believe it will be 15 years in December since you've passed. Always thinking of and missing you. The years I've missed posting are some of the moments I'm so mad at you for the pain you've caused me and all of your family and friends. They say anger is part of the healing process but I don't know. I have to work very hard to find joy but sometimes I find that joy creeping in and laughter too but numbness is more constant. Perhaps its the guilt I'm working through for what I feel I should have or could have done different. I'm trying and I guess that's all one can ask. Addiction is a horrible disease and affects so many. I know you tried to beat it. I miss you and love you. Love,  Mom

7-04-2022,  Dave, Debbie -   Hey Tim,  Tell your Uncle Billy I said Happy Birthday to him tomorrow.   Say Hi to Grandpa and Grandma too.  I hope you had a good 38th birthday last week, though you all in Heaven are likely not keeping track of them anymore, as you got all of eternity.    See you all soon, well hopefully not real soon.   :)

06-23-2021,  Diane Schafer -  Happy 37th Birthday Tim.  Love you so much and think about you everyday. Miss you ❤   Love forever , Mom

09-20-2020,  Daniel -    Well i never really got a chance to talk to you (I really don't know what I would say) . I sometimes feel like I was really hard on you. I wasn’t doing it to be a dick I just saw what it was doing to mom and grandma and it made me really mad. I really wish you never touched the stuff. I’m absolutely no saint myself though and am chasing my own demons still I have given them numerous heartaches and troubles for mom (But we’re family and in the end that’s all that matters you can’t take that away) You would be a good uncle. My kids are monsters and a hard headed fool like you would have been great for them! We did not get along until we were adults. Actually we tried to kill each other. I don’t think I really connected with you until after I was downrange....
I remember calling home when I was down range and everybody acted like it’s all good all the time but could could tell it was just bullshit. I’m not sure if they were trying to keep me from stressing out or not?(id rather known what was going on) Anyway I could tell what was going on and wish I would have been home to try to help you. It really wouldn’t have mattered I guess.... Anyway, I miss ya and hope you found whatever it was that your looking for because if you do let me know please ha ha.
We all get wasted and turn into worm food eventually. unfortunately you ended up short. You would have been a great uncle. I miss you Tim!
Keep your powder dry my man! It’s a bummer how things worked out. We probably would have been good friends by now and it would have only taken 30 years!!! Cash is playing the guitar and getting pretty good. Ella blind as a bat and giant coke bottle glasses.she would have had fun hanging out with you.
Sorry for being a dickhead.

06-23-2020,  Diane Schafer - Mom -  Happy 36th Birthday to Tim today June 23 2020. I wonder what you would have thought of all this Covid stuff going on in the world, probably wouldn't have wanted to wear a mask! Had a piece of coconut cream pie this weekend and thought of you. Still thinking of you every day, it doesn't get easier. But remembering the good times too. I love you and miss you very much.

06-23-2020,  Dave, Debbie -    Happy Birthday Tim.   We hope you are having a fun time in heaven with Jarrod.  Say hi to Grandpa and Grandma for us.   We love you all and miss all of you.

06-23-2019,  Diane Schafer - Mom -   Happy Birthday Tim, my son.   You would be 35 years old today.   The time sure does go by quickly most of the time, but some days it seems like yesterday.  You had a good heart and I know your family and friends loved you very much.   I really miss you a lot.
 

06-23-2019,  Dave, Debbie and Alice Schafer -    Happy Birthday Tim.   We hope you are having a fun time in heaven, say hi to Grandpa for us.

12-28-2018  Dave Schafer - Uncle     Tim, Debbie and I were thinking about you today.  Hope you and Jarad are having fun.   Miss you.

12-27-2017  Diane Schafer - Mom -   Another Christmas has passed. Almost 9 years since your passing. Working on growth!
 
A few thoughts on loss from the book called Life's Lessons.
 
"Most of us fight and resist loss throughout our lives, not understanding life is loss and loss is life; life cannot change and we cannot grow without loss. If you feel you're suffering great loss, it's only because you have been richly blessed by life.  Just as there is no good without bad, or light without dark, there is no growth without loss. And odd though it may sound, there also is no loss without growth. In the midst of pain, loss may seem to be never-ending, yet the cycle of life exists all around us."
 
We just have to work harder at times to see it!
 

12-23-2017   Dave Schafer - Uncle     Tim we missed having you at the Christmas dinner, but know you were there in our hearts.  Merry Christmas Tim.

06-23-2017  Diane Schafer - Mom -   Happy 33rd Birthday to Tim.  I'm thinking of you even more today on your birthday.  Brought some yellow flowers for you to your grave today and sang you Happy Birthday. I'm thinking you'd like how sunny and bright they look. I wanted to share some happiness.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and miss you so much.  Love,  Mom 

06-25-2016   Amanda Davidson   Sitting on the deck this evening thinking about Tim.  Remembering how much he liked my kids. He would be 31 now. No doubt a father. I bet he would have been great one. The kind that kids would run to the door when he got home yelling "Dad's home! Dad's home!". He was so much fun. I still miss him.   Amanda

06-23-2016    Debbie Schafer - Thinking of you Tim on your 32nd Birthday.  Wishing you were here. I would make you a blackberry pie. Your cousins and I miss you and think about you often.  Love, Debbie

06-23-2016  Diane Schafer - Mom    Happy 32nd Birthday to Tim!  I love you and miss you so much.

06-23-16  Dave Schafer - Uncle     Happy Birthday Tim.   Andrew was bragging about you to his kids a while back.  He told them that you held the record for the most crab rangoons eaten at one time at the Chinese Buffet.   see you.  Uncle Dave 

06-23-2015  Diane Schafer - Mom    

Was it just another day for you? Thoughts on June 23, 2015
It wasn't for me......
Tim would have been 31 this day. The wave of grief that always builds up before one of those memory days is so much harder to face. The wave washes over me and I try to stand but sometimes feel like falling. I do fall at times but manage the strength to get up and face another day.
But I do remember....

Happy Birthday Tim. I love you and miss you.
I took a visit to the cemetery today to bring you some flowers. I hope we get some rain or at least that they water the grass over your grave. It's hard to see it so dry but I'm hoping things will change and everything will turn green again.

It wasn't just another day for me.
I remembered..........

06-23-15  Dave Schafer - Uncle     Happy Birthday Tim.   Amanda was over yesterday and was talking about the fun times she had with you growing up.  Hope things are going good in heaven.  see you.  Uncle Dave 

06-23-2014  Diane Schafer - Mom     Happy birthday to my sweet Tim.  This would have been your 30th birthday today, June 23rd.  I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday.   What joy you brought to my life.   I miss you each and every day.   Love Mom

06-23-14   Dave Schafer - Uncle     Happy Birthday Tim.   We all miss you.   

12-28-2013   Alice Schafer - Grandma    Dear Tim, my beloved grandson - can it be 5 years since you left us? We still miss you so much. I frequently drive by your grave, and have a little talk with you. I know you are not there, and can't hear me from where you are, but , for a moment, I feel closer to you. I have a feeling that it won't be long until I REALLY see you, and you can give me a guided tour of that blessed heavenly home where Jesus is, and so many of our friends are at Home there with you. Until then, remember Grandpa and I love you!!!!

12-25-2013  Diane Schafer - Mom    Merry Christmas to my Tim. I woke up early this morning and made the drive up the hill to the cemetery to put some flowers on your grave. Just couldn't let a Christmas go by without remembering you. It was a very quiet, cold morning, with bright sunshine and frost all around. On Saturday Dec. 28 it will be 5 years since you passed on. No mother should ever have to spend Christmas morning at the grave of her son. It makes those moments we did have together all the more precious. They say it gets easier as the years go by but I find that very hard to believe and I would imagine those who say that have not lost a child. I'm grateful for the years you were with me but miss you so very much. As I was getting in the car to leave the cemetery a song came on the radio, "talks to angels" and was wondering what you were talking to the angels about, I bet those conversations are really something and I'm looking forward to being a part of them!

12-25-13   Dave Schafer - Uncle     Tim a very Merry Christmas to you.   Missed you at the family dinner last night, but know you are enjoying a much larger family now.

06-23-2013  Diane Schafer - Mom    Happy 29th birthday to my sweet boy Tim.   Missing you each and everyday and so looking forward to seeing you again.

6-23-2013   Alice Schafer - Grandma    June 23 - that was such an important date for so many years - Tim's birthday.  You would be 29 now.  Has it been 5 years ago that you left us?  We still think of you, and love you, and miss you so much.  You are probably having a fantastic time in Heaven now, and wouldn't want to come back here even if you could.,  Grandpa is 91, and I am  85, so it can't be too long until we see you again.  Until then, know that we appreciate the years God gave us with you, and I still remember the sound of your voice saying, "I love you, Grandma."  See you soon, sweet boy.

12-28-2012   Alice Schafer - Grandma    Four years have already gone by since we said "Goodbye" to you - and I still miss you, and think of you most every day. I can still see you standing by our front door on Christmas afternoon. I said, "Be careful, Tim. We love you." You smiled that beautiful smile of yours and said, "Don't worry about me, Grandma. I am going to be with Jared. He'll make sure I'm O.K."  I sure wish you could have stayed with Jared longer than you did, because he always watched out for you.     But for four years now you have been with Jesus, and I am sure that HE is making sure you are O.K. See you soon, sweet grandson of mine.   Grandma

6-23-2012   Diane Schafer - Mom    Today is my dear son Tim's 28th birthday.   What a beautiful day today was, clear sky, cool with a lite breeze, and sunny. I think he would have loved this day and I think he would have liked the flowers I put on his grave this morning.   Still not a day goes by that I don't think about him. Some days the memories are beautiful and happy and sometimes the loss is too much to bare.   Happy 28th my sweet Tim!   I love you.

6-23-2012   Alice Schafer - Grandma   HAPPY 28th BIRTHDAY, Tim.  Birthdays are probably an "Earthly" thing, and you don't care much about them in Heaven.  But we thought about you today.  We think about you every day - and miss you so much. Grandpa and I put flowers on your grave this afternoon and remembered how much we have loved you for 28 years.  I have been sick for a couple of weeks and thought, for a couple of days, that I might be joining you there before too long - but, I am getting better - so guess it will be awhile.  But when I do, after I see my blessed friend, Jesus, and greet my little boy, Billy, and my parents, and sisters, and friends - you can be sure that I will look for your sweet face and beautiful smile.

6-23-12  Jarad Michael Kidwell

flowers on the grave
his head stone, I'm amazed
a beautiful man
lies beneath
a friend i will always adore
a friend who i long for more
time is an unique perception
as it goes, we think of our past memories'
the love we shared
the bond we bared
having a birthday
means that you have traveled around the sun
a number of times
with out life
i still celebrate your life.
i live for the memories of you
your dear friend,
Jarad
 

6-28-11  Jarad Michael Kidwell     Did I ever tell you about the laziest Sunday I ever spent with Tim? well it went like this: we were at my Grandma Deuel's house and i had 2 couches outside Tim on one and me on the other. we literally laid on those couches ALL DAY, just talking about whatever came to our minds. we both ended up falling asleep; then woke up and we both propped up our heads to look at each other only to reassure each other that we should lay around the rest of the day! It was literally the laziest Sunday I have had to this date. I love you and hope you are doing well. I am moving back to GV, so if you ever want to catch a cup of coffee I would be honored. Happy Birthday to the best man i ever knew...

6-23-11  Diane Schafer - Mom    Happy 27th birthday my dear, sweet Tim.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about you.  I miss you so deeply.  Love always, Mom

6-23-10   Dave Schafer - Uncle     Today is Tim's birthday, and I just wanted to wish him a happy birthday, just in case they have an internet connection in heaven.

12-30-09  Jarad Michael Kidwell     well i just got back from a road trip that i went on with Lauren Frediani. we went to a spot that Tim and i went to camp at in 2005 in big sur called Morena state park. there we mourned Tim and hung out under a tree that tim sat in for hours smoking cigars and watching the moon rise. we did this road trip on Dec. 28th 2009 a year from my best friends pass to heaven. i said a prayer for tim for his family to let him know that they loved him very much and then i began my own prayer.. you were my boy blue.. miss you tim..love always you best friend.

06-18-09    Dave Schafer - Uncle     I used to use Tim's services when my real estate clients needed help moving into their new homes.  Since Tim has passed, there have been several times, out of habit, that I almost called Tim to see if he was available to work.    Tim was always appreciated when he worked for people, and he got excellent reviews by them all.   He also used to do quite a bit of brush clearing at Grandma's and Grandpa's house.  I, and Tim's brother Ben, have taken over that work, and I can guarantee you that we sure all miss him.

04-30-09  Jarad Michael Kidwell      I miss you Tim!

04-09-09    Crystal Shrum     Tim was a Great guy.  He always seemed to know what to say when anyone was upset.  I only knew him for about five years.  I did not see him often, but when I did, he always lit up the room.   He was always happy and always had a smile when I could not smile myself.   He knew when I was sad, or mad, and knew how to calm me down from either one.   He was my best friend, my brother, my sunshine - you could say.   I remember the last time I saw him, we were eating candy and watching TV with my parents.   We were laughing about the most random stuff.    It was so fun.   I will always remember him in the best ways, and love him like family.   You will Always Be Remembered As The Greatest Friend.

02-02-09   Greg DeWolf      Bearing the loss of Tim has been very difficult for me, as I loved him so much. I have bookmarked this page and have been a frequent visitor just to look at the family pictures, and see that young man who loved family, friends, and life.   The tears still warm my cheeks when I think about Tim and how much I miss him.   My tears also flow for Diane (Tim's mom) as I want to make the pain go away but know that I cannot take away this pain, it is something that only God and time can heal.  It hurts to see such a wonderful woman hurt so deeply.  I also know that his family misses him even more than I do, so I wanted you all to know that I continue to pray for you and for the loss you are facing.  I know that God is the Great Comforter and the Great Healer and I pray He brings all of us comfort and healing. Tim you will never be forgotten, and you are missed so very much.

02-01-09    Laura Shugart     Like many, I was introduced to Tim a few years ago through his good friend Jared Kidwell. The first time I met him, I saw that his smile would just fill up a room.  Unfortunately by the time I met Tim, he was pretty heavy into his addictions.  I, myself having dealt with some demons of my own, could identify with what he was going through.  I know he wanted to get clean.  I know that he was so upset with himself for burning any bridges he did, for betraying any friends along the way of his sickness.  I didn't know Tim for too long but just long enough to know that he had a HUGE HEART and he LOVED SO DEEPLY.  I wish I had more Tim in my life but now I am just grateful for every moment I spent with him. and Tim, thanks for being such a good friend to Jarad. HE loves you soooooo much.  I got to see the two of you together. YOU may not have had anything else, but you had each other.  I love you Tim, you were such a light despite all the bullshit. Hope your o.k., and most of all I hope you are safe and content. till next time buddy.... laura

01-31-09    Larry Hilsabeck    I am Tim's uncle. Since I live in Southern Cal I didn't get to see Tim a lot in his older years but when Joann and I visited Grass Valley from time to time Tim always made sure he did the "family" thing by visiting with us; we always enjoyed being with him because of his friendly, loving manner. Looking through all the pictures of Tim you will see pictures of Tim and Daniel in there "camo" outfits playing "Army". This is when they lived in Southern Cal. also. I saw Tim a lot in those days because I was around my brother, Tim's dad a lot. It was pretty fun watching Tim growing up in those days. Joann and I drove up to Grass Valley in our RV to help support the family after Tim's passing. I don't believe in "signs" but I don't discount people who do.  However, something weird happened. When we went to the cemetery a small twig about 1 foot long dropped on the top of our RV from the pine trees in the cemetery. It was hanging partially off the RV. I didn't want to climb up to get it and I figured it would drop off after driving away a few miles.  We drove over to the Memorial for Tim and it was still there. Then we drove to our campground about 20 miles away and it was still there.  A day later we drove 250 miles to our home in Corona and when we arrived that little twig was still there. I figured it must have got caught on something on top of the RV since it was very small and lightweight and I had been driving 65-70 miles per hour and there were sometimes gusts of winds. So, I climbed up on top of the RV and discovered there wasn't a single thing that would hold that twig from the cemetery for all those miles. Again, I don't believe in "signs" but Joann and I put the twig in water and we still have it today Jan 31. For us it is like we have a part of Tim with us. With Love Uncle Larry and Aunt Joann

01-30-09   Sharron Hilsabeck    I just wanted to say thank you to the people at Hospice for their kind words, prayers and thoughts for Tim and the family. I ran into Tim's friend Julie there the other day and she told me about how the team there really cared for him, missed him, and thought he was always a very sweet guy. They also told me that they had put together and donated a brick in his name at the new Hospice of the Foothill Center, I think that is a wonderful memorial, and thank you so much for honoring him in this way.

01-11-09    Alice Schafer, Grandma     Two weeks ago today, we were sitting in church on a Sunday morning when an usher tapped Bill on the shoulder with the message about an emergency phone call.  The events that followed are a bit of a blur to me: the rush to the hospital - the heart-tearing bad news that Tim had passed away - the weeping, the hurt, the shock and disbelief - the questions and "what ifs" and "if only"s - the grave-side service 8 days later and the beautiful Memorial service at our church. Grandparents are not supposed to have to bury their beloved 24 year old grandsons!  You keep hoping that it is only a nightmare, and that you will wake up, and he will still be with us.  The loving sympathetic friends help with their prayers and their kindness.  The pastors help.  The family clinging together helps.  But the greatest help comes from the knowledge that God is with us - and Tim is with God!

I base that assurance upon God's Word where new birth is promised by Jesus to all who receive Him, who believe in His name - Tim did.  He accepted that Jesus died on the cross for us, rose from the dead, and is now in the place of power at the right hand of God.  Tim had faith that Jesus took the penalty for our falling short of God's standard, and took the blame for our sin - past, present, and future.  Faith is looking away from ourselves and our failings and looking to Jesus. Tim's faith may have seemed weak, but even a weak faith is faith.  Jesus may admonish us for "being those of little faith", but He still rescues us with great love and power and mercy - and if that isn't true, none of us have any hope - and that faith in Jesus brought Tim home to Jesus.

Tim, my precious grandson, your Grandpa and I are well into our 80s.  We'll be joining you before too long.  In the meantime, I am sure going to miss your hugs and your "I love you, Grandma".

01-11-09     Greg DeWolf     For days now I have tried to write the words that express my grief over this tragic loss, but every time I began to write I became overcome with emotions.

I had the honor of knowing Tim for the last two years, I knew of his struggles, and also knew of his deep love for his family and desire to get his life in order for them.

I can remember Tim getting a trombone from Hospice and on his grandfathers birthday, pulling that trombone out and trying to blow out Happy Birthday. I am truly surprised that LWW security did not show up since I am sure the neighbors thought someone was killing a trombone player!  I also recall how excited he was when he would come home from Hospice with some new find that will surely make someone's Christmas or birthday that much better!  Most of all I recall the conversations I had with Tim right before he left this earth. He told me how much he loved his mom and how important it was for him to get clean as he knew it would make his mom so happy.  He also told me how he loved his brothers and other extended family and how he knew how disappointed everyone was of him because of the choices he had been making, but that he truly was going to turn his life around so that everyone could once again be proud of him.

Tim was a very kind and loving young man and when Diane allowed me to be in not just Tim's life but in all of her son's lives, they have become like my own children/son's.  I will truly miss Tim, I know that my life was and is changed forever because of the last two years of having Tim in my life.

I know that Tim would want me to share with all of his family how much he loved and loves them, and how happy and proud he was to have such a fantastic, loving, forgiving family stand with him though all his trials, steps forward and step backwards.  He loved all of you and was so quick to share those feelings with me on several occasions.

For Tim's friends who also feel this terrible loss, I know that he would want you to seek out help for your addictions.  I know Tim would want to do whatever was in his power to help you to get clean so that your life is not cut short. So please, so that this tragedy is turned into something of hope, call the County Mental Health Department, keep calling, do not give up, do not lose hope, and for Tim and Tim's loving family, get out from under the grips of addiction and break free. You can make it, and you can get clean.  Tim would want that for each and everyone of you. I know Tim loved and cared about each of you and I also know that he would want me to tell you that you are not alone, there is hope and healing.

Tim, I love you, and will forever miss you. Diane, thank you for letting me into your son's lives, and know that my prayers are there for you.

Denny, I know that Tim had a special place in his heart for you as his dad. I know how important it was to him to talk with you on the phone when you called, and how it truly did make a difference. I also know he looked forward to spending nights at your home and whether it was shooting or camping he loved those special times with you. I have and will keep praying for you during this difficult time.

01-11-09     Paul Hindt     I am very sorry to hear the news about Tim's passing. I knew Tim when we both went to Pleasant Valley School and had brief encounters with him off and on after high school. I know that Tim was struggling a lot with addiction and I feel I can empathize with him because I was fortunate to escape from that dark path. I am very sad that this has happened and I truly hope it can stand as a beacon of hope to others who might be dealing with their own demons of addiction. I will say that Tim is the 2nd person I have known to have been taken by addiction in the last couple of years and it is very frightening. Rest peacefully Tim, you were a very cool person (and an excellent bass player!).  -Paul

01-10-09    Pam Wesolick/Erika's mom     I'm very sorry for your loss. I wanted so much to come to the Memorial, but it was the first day of my new job. Tim was such a joy to know and his smile will be with me forever. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.

01-10-09     Sharron Hilsabeck    Just a note to say how much he is missed. We have Ben with us tonight and I am so used to Tim either being here, OR asking Denny where he is at or what he is doing the weekend, as I guess it always gave me comfort to kind of know where all the kids were at and what they were doing, whether we saw them or not. It hurts to know he won't be here to eat his ice cream or his cookies, but am so glad he is with the Lord at the same time. We all will have these mixed feelings for years to come, intense sorrow that he is not physically here, and yet intense joy that he is with the Lord. God Bless you tonight Tim as you explore that heavenly city, we love you SOOO much.

01-09-09    Ashleigh Becker    oh man...where to start?   I'll start with my favorite memory of Tim.  Tim, and I, were little kid friends at Pleasant Valley School.   I believe it was 4th grade that Tim had the biggest crush on this girl in our class, we were friends so of course I knew all about the love affair.   One day at recess, Tim got the news that his girl wanted to kiss him...so all the kids gathered around in a huge circle around Tim and his little lady. When they finally kissed the whole circle of kids went crazy yelling and laughing.   I don't know if that was his first kiss, but it certainly brings a smile to my face thinking about our innocence , it's a sweet memory to have.

Besides our friendship as a child, I grew to know Tim through a new group of friends, Emily Bobman, Gigi, Jamie L., and J-Rad.  Tim was great. He had a smile that made me feel welcome, even in my awkward nerdy teenage state.   I loved watching Tim interact with our friends. He was lovable, genuine and super fun, and it always seemed he was one of  the first we would call to hang out or to go on an adventure.  Tim made me happy deeply, and I never have had the chance to realize it or thank him for doing so.   I regret that the time I spent with Tim seems like it was so long ago and that it was cut so short.   I will miss you Tim and I know there are many whose hearts will be darkened without your smile.   I give my best to Tim's family and hope that they too can find peace.   love always,   Ashleigh Becker

01-08-09   Sharron Hilsabeck   I am Step mom to Timmy, and just wanted to post a short comment regarding the last comment from the lady from Hospice of the Foothills. Tim still had a lot of love for the folks he worked with there, and I wanted to mention a humorous statement that he told me after he had started working there.    He was commenting on how there was a lot of nice people he worked with, and that also some of the senior ladies were like "Grandma's" to him, but he stated he had to be careful to not get too close with him as his real Grandma (Alice Schafer) may get jealous, and giggled about it.

01-08-09   Susan Sawyer Morton   I was only around Tim briefly when he was a young boy playing and having a good  time with his older brother, Daniel. Brandon, my older son, and Carlton, my youngest son, had stopped off to spend a few days with Aunt Alice and Uncle Bill on our way back to Atlanta from Hawaii, back in 1990. Carlton was only 4 at the time, but said he remembered Timmy and Daniel having so much fun playing soldiers in the yard on S.  Ponderosa, and then running in the house for snacks. Even as a youngster he had a great zest for life and having fun. I am sure he will be sorely missed. We are so sad that his beautiful life has been cut so short and we do send our love, prayers, and condolences to the Schafer family, the Hilsabeck family, his mother Diane, and his brothers, uncles, aunts, cousins, and friends. After reading all of the most touching memories and comments by family and friends, I can certainly tell that Tim was exceptionally well loved by so many. I pray God's comfort on Tim's mother Diane, especially, at this time. Brothers Daniel, and Ben, and may God bless and comfort each and everyone of you at this time. Cousin Susan Sawyer Morton. Atlanta GA

01-08-09   Marilyn Brandfass - Hospice of the Foothills     Tim was a sweet young man, and I really enjoyed talking with him when I saw him. He was always generous with his time and energy. It is so sad to lose someone so young. My thoughts are with you and your friends, family at this very sad time.

01-07-09   Quentin Ludwig   I met Tim in elementary school and quickly he became one of my first true friends.  Tim, I wish you could hear me when I say that you are loved by many.  I will never forget you and what you meant in my life.  Good friends are hard to find in life.  I wish I had the perfect words for this type of thing but it never gets any easier. I will always remember the good times we had Tim.

01-07-09   Matt Hintze    I had been Tim's stepbrother for years, but I've lived in Redding for over seven years so I didn't get the chance to know him as much as I would have liked.  He came up here one day about three years ago to drop my car off that my mom had bought for me. We ended up talking for hours about music and life and mutual friendships.  It amazed me that we loved all the same music; old Modest Mouse, Built to Spill, Elliott Smith, Jeff Buckley. But, he didn't strike me as a typical scene kid.  He had so much life in him...I mean the way he would talk was so passionate, and he was incredibly accepting of your viewpoint.  Even though I know he's probably with Jesus now, I don't want to admit he's gone.  He was such a force to all who encountered him...I'll never forget him.

01-06-09   James Bratt    My favorite memories of Tim were when we used go beat each other up at the boxing gym next to K-Mart. I remember his nose would bleed a lot so whenever he was kicking my ass, I'd try my best to give him a bloody nose so he'd stop. I will miss him very much, and my thoughts and prayers go out to all of his family and friends.

01-06-09   Roger Ramsaur   ....... a moment of pause for you my friend.....I love you, I am in silent reflection with the news of your passing....you had a great genuine sense to the depths of you, and it always carried across in some form another.....I will miss you in this life friend, but I look forward to crossing paths again in the next....until then inspire us all in spirit...R

01-05-09   Erika Hilsabeck  (sister-in-law)  Wow...what can I say!!  The service was so wonderful today because of all the family and friends that were there to honor Tim.  Dan and I married 3 months ago and it was such a blessing that Tim was part of our special day. Doesn't he look handsome in that tuxedo??  He was checking himself out in the mirror all day!!!  The very first picture on the top of the page is my favorite!  That was taken after me and Dan's wedding down in Old Sac.  He was holding my purse for me!!! (full picture)

Tim, Ben, Dan and I went on a great camping trip this 4th of July.  We went to Bridgeport and Yosemite.  That was a great weekend of eating, hiking, swimming in the hot springs, shooting...I have a ton of pictures of that trip I would like to post!

I am still in shock...I had become so attached to my new "brother" in the past year.  Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you...I am here.  My thought and prayers are with the Hilsabeck and Schafer families!!  I love you all!  I love you Tim!!!!  I will see you again someday!!!

01-05-09 Derilyn Childs (cousin of Diane)    How sorry we are to hear about Tim.  We are praying for you.

01-04-09   Graham Hayes   Tim had a uniquely kind heart and I admired his laugh inducing wit. I met Tim in early high school. I remember going to a concert at the NCCA and I ended up going over to Tim's house with a gang of folks to camp in the woods at the bottom of the property. We laughed all night around a bonfire. It was a Friday night, and the next morning I woke up really early before everyone else had. I remembered that I had to meet my mom in downtown Grass Valley that morning.  Being the neurotic introvert I was in high school, I was too nervous to wake anyone up and ask them what time it was.  I had to meet my mom at 8, and the sun was already up, and having driven out there in the dark I had no idea where I was. So I just got up out of the tent quietly and ran from Tim's McCourtney house, all the way into downtown Grass Valley - and with a horrible side ache I found out it was only like 7.  This was my first time ever hanging out with Tim. The next Monday at school, Tim came up to me before class and shook me and lovingly exclaimed something to the effect of "&^@)*?" - He went on to tell me that he looked for me for hours down there, figuring I went to go pee in the bushes and fell over or something. He even went back down on Sunday for an hour or so to look around some more, screaming "grrrrahhhhhaammmm!!!" at the top of his lungs. Being kind of friendless at the time, I felt really comforted that Tim cared enough about me to keep looking for me.  A favorite memory of Tim that always comes up for me... is on the morning waking up on the couches at a party at Alela's house.  Tim was asking everyone the one thing they wanted to do before they died. Tim said that the thing he wanted to do was just to make one really good joke.  I remember thinking, 'that is the cleverest, most humble and great thing... just to make something funny.'  That was who Tim was to me... the funniest, most humble, honest, and accepting friend.  May the loss of Tim bring us all closer together in this perpetually challenging, overwhelmingly beautiful eternal life!

01-04-09  Denise Grafton   Bless you all as you grieve for the sudden loss of Tim! I only met him one time a number  of years ago and recall a very engaging young man, in love with the mystery of life! My thoughts and prayers are with you all...With love, Cousin Denise

01-03-09   Katie Delwiche   Tim convinced me to buy my first Elliott Smith record, Either/Or, when I was sixteen. I'd seen Elliott Smith play at the Oscars, and had written off the hype about him to some obsession that people had with breathy neo-Beatles wuss music, but the way he told me to buy it was convincing enough that I bought it right there on the spot. He wasn’t working, just perusing, and took the time to tell me that if I knew what was good for me I would buy that record. Not only did he care enough about music to take the time to recommend something to me that he knew I could probably use in my life, but he recognized that music was something important enough to be shared.

I was younger than a lot of the people that I became friends or acquaintances with in high school, including Tim, but he always made me feel welcome, and smiled at me, and pulled me in for a hug. He was someone I could count on to be genuine and sincere with me even when I was at my most vulnerable. He didn't know me very well, and had nothing to gain by being my friend, but he made me feel that that didn't matter, and every gesture and word from him seemed heartbreakingly sincere.

My favorite memory of Tim always involves riding in the back seat of his car after school, or during school if I was ditching. He would always offer to drive me places, and something about the space of his car felt like somehow liberating; somehow removed from things outside of it. When I spent time with him, I was young and stupid and afraid, but I remember internally remarking on how unapologetically open he seemed, and I remember thinking, riding in the back of his car, a bit terrified because I was ditching or because he was smoking or because I was young or because I was naive, that the feeling of being in that car with the music turned up really loud was a perfect snapshot of what it was to be young, and what it was to feel that kind of fleeting freedom that one finds in the space of youth. It was a kind of freedom that I was afraid of. I was young, and really susceptible to feeling both crushed and amazed at the same time.  He would sit in the front seat and smoke out his window, loudly blasting old modest mouse records or what-have-you. One time he, and myself, and Jesse Sabin, and I think somebody else (but I forget who) drove to Grocery Outlet so that we could do some Christmas shopping.  I was sitting in the left-hand back seat of that car, and I bought a box of Homer Simpson cereal (called "Homer O's or something), and we looked at all the weird stuff on the shelves and browsed through the CD bins looking at the CD's that they had for sale.

01-03-09   Matthew Tingey   My life would not have been as good as it was without knowing Tim, My name is Matt Tingey and I always saw Tim to an equal to me (this is because we were both born in the sign of cancer, although he was on the cusp of gemini and I was on the cusp of leo. I could not help crying last night when I read the posts from friends and family on http://timhilsabeck.com because we all were those people that Timothy made smile and in which he opened his heart to all. Looking back I can remember disking/hanging out at muscle beach (a lot of us were introduced to him by his good friend Jarad Kidwell). I had not seen Tim in awhile (I thank God I got to see him a few months ago) I was not really aware of his recent addictions, I can tell you that us cancers are very emotional people, we are also very outgoing and that is how I will remember Tim as the person who always made sure people were having a good time.  No matter how he was feeling :) (You could walk up to Tim and not even know him and he would talk to you like he had known you for years!  He Sure Had Guts! And that is something that I see less and less in mainstream people, I will always value our friendship Tim as you were and always will be a Gentleman and a Scholar.

01-03-09   Amanda Spathelf    I first met Tim in 7th or 8th grade. He and Nick Gilbert used to "pick on me", but little did Tim know what I would be to him in the future. We became good friends after sophomore year and the friendship never ended. Shortly after high school Tim and I started dating and that's when I fell in love.  This man had such a huge heart, and he gave me so much of it. I always laughed with Tim and have only the best of memories. Tim and I lived together for 2 years and those two years may have been our hardest, but it's what made our love grow so deep.  We could never let go of one another. In the last few years that we have not dated, he never became anything less than the love of my life.  I wanted so badly for him to heal himself, and I did everything I could possibly do to let him know that I was there, always. I wish I would had said it more to him, but I know even without words he knew he was the one for me and I, the one for him.  One day again we shall meet and I will forever be with the one I love, always and forever.

I'm glad you found your peace Tim.

01-02-09   Kristine Mason   As I sit here and read posts written by loved ones (friends and family) I wish I new Tim better.  I would only ask about 'the boys - when I would into the office (Lifetime).  You see, I worked with Diane; and she has been a true inspiration to me, not only professionally but personally.  I have watched her raise her kiddos for many years now and I know her as a strong, loving and understanding Mother and friend. I sit and grieve for you Diane as well as your family.  Tim was a beautiful son and man.  His struggle was within himself and not with his Lord. He is now at rest in the arms of Jesus.

During this time of complete heartbreak I want to encourage each of you to find some rest and then nestle down in God's love for understanding and peace. I kept looking for scripture and asking God to reveal to me what I could say to help.  He kept bringing me back to Psalm 23, "He makes me lie down in green pastures" you see if you nestle down in the tall shoots of His love, there you will find rest.  For us to be healthy, we must find rest, slow down, and God will heal you. He will bring rest to your mind, to your body, and most of all to your soul. He will lead you to green pastures.

My heart breaks for you Diane, as a mother. Daniel and Ben I want to encourage you to live and share your brothers legacy with anyone who will listen!  He is and always will be your blessed brother watching over you.

01-02-09   Amanda Fry   Tim was a good pal. Like Sean, I met him in high school through Jarad. Jarad and I were best friends through middle school then when we started dating Sophomore and Junior year so I got to spend a lot of time with Timmy. I always felt very protective of him for some reason. I think it's because he had such a pure, kind soul. Very rare kinda dude. He had the best sense of humor about everything, just his presence made me smile. We would sit on the wall everyday during 4th period lunch just taking in the scene. He was always a comfort to me. Even if he wasn't feeling comfortable he still made me feel at ease somehow. I'm comforted just thinking back. I hope that he's feeling peaceful now. I miss him

01-02-09    Sean Sanford    I met Tim through Jarad Kidwell when I was a senior and Tim was a sophomore at Nevada Union High School.  I remember the day we met,  I was giving him and Jarad a ride to their homes on S. Ponderosa. We were walking up the stairs by the Don Bagget Theater when some thugged out junior walked by and muttered something to Tim.  Jarad turned  immediately and said something to the effect of: "Hey! What's your problem with Tim?" after which the dude asked him what he was talking about.

"You've been talking all this trash on him. Do you even know Tim?"

"I know he's a little punk."

After which Jarad made it apparent that if dude was to continue harassing Tim behind his back, he'd have to answer to Kidwell!

Tim didn't have any trouble after that.  After seeing this I remember thinking, wow, these guys are really close...and this Tim kid must be alright.  I immediately sensed a brother like relationship between Tim and Jarad.  I hung out with those two for years thereafter and became very close friends with Tim.   I even got him his job at  Ike's!   Towards the end I didn't see him much because I moved out of town and he started doing his own thing but I always asked about him when I came to Grass Valley.  I was worried about Little Timmy.   I know we all were.  I also know that as we speak he's having a grand old time yucking it up with Sam and Brandin. I love you Tim. I miss you, brother.

01-02-09  Jarad Michael Kidwell   From age four (Tim), and five (me), we have been best of friends - doing everything together.   Let me tell you a bit about my best friend "little Timmy".   He was the youngest of the kids on the block that hung out everyday; hence the name little Timmy. We went to school together at Hennessy where we would meet two recesses each day to play ninja turtles.  Tim always had the cooler ninja turtles as his parents somehow always new what the cool ninja turtles were, and bought them for him - good parents!  Later, Tim transferred to another school, but we would still meet up after school to patrol the street in our army gear with Dan, Jon,  Kenny, and Jorge, and we did an exceptional job - meaning there was no crime :)

So, when Tim was 7, and I was 8, we began to get interested in girls.  I remember one imaginary afternoon where Tim, and I, pretended we had girlfriends on our backs.  We were in the back yard with our girlfriends on our backs - and we heard a helicopter above us.   So we said, "we got to protect our girls" and began to run in zig zag formation in order not to let the imaginary girlfriends on our backs come into any harm. hahaha. That's a fun memory.

I miss you, Tim..  Tim went on a path that was tuff on people, especially himself.   But, I had unconditional love for the kid, and when he was at my house with me for Christmas 2008,  I saw Tim as I always saw Tim.   He had just shaved his face a little cleaner this time.  That man will remain in my heart forever, and it was the best Christmas present that a person could ever get having Tim over for Christmas.

What a great man he was.  My best friend, Tim.

01-02-09  Sharron Hilsabeck    When I am feeling better, I will post a longer memory and statement of Tim. For now, I just wanted to make a short statement of how much we loved him, and how we are in a zombie state of grief. Last night we were praying about how it is so hard to accept he is not here. As joyous in one way it is to know he is with the Lord, it is so hard to not have him physically here. Last night it seemed to feel like the Lord was saying that even though we find it so hard for him to be gone, we feel Tim is where TIM wants to be, and that is with the Lord and happy. So, then all we can do is have the strength to give him back to God and celebrate his life. Although I love him dearly and have been his stepmother for 10 years, there is no pain like losing your birth child, and my heart, love, and respect go out to Diane and Denny with all my being. We will all have good and bad days, and on this roller coaster of grief today has been a tough one, we are in true mourning. My prayers are with the ALL rest of his family too, especially his Grandparents, brothers, and Aunts and Uncles. God Bless you for the tender roles you have played in his life, and he has always expressed such love for you.

01-01-09  Christa Butkiewicz -  I am Christa. I am Tim's step-sister. I remember lots of great things about Tim. I remember us all at Boca Lake on Father's day with him and Dennis playing guitar. I remember him at my Moms playing Xbox and teaching my nephews and Ben all the tricks to win. There's a lot more that I can say but I'd be here forever. Bottom-line, he was a sweet man with a great personality and a huge warm smile. He will be missed, and I know in my heart he is with the Lord, and in that, I find my only comfort.

01-01-09   Noel Mendoza  -  Hi, I'm his nephew.   Tim was fun and we always had a good time.  We would always play Xbox 360 with his brother Ben  and we would also go fishing.   I'll miss him.  He was a great uncle and I will see him in heaven.

01-01-09   Mom, Diane Schafer -   My beloved son Tim went to be with the Lord on Sunday December 28, 2008.   I will miss him so very  very much.  He was truly a precious soul.  From a very early age I could see that Tim had a very good and tender heart.  He felt and cared so very deeply for all of his short 24 years. I have wonderful memories of many long talks we had about life, God, family and friends.  Even through the  turmoil of the struggles he faced I could still feel the great love he had for his family along with his brokenhearted sorrow that those he so dearly loved would not know how much he truly cared about them. 

Tim had a passion for  music, playing the bass guitar, watching anything on TV that was related to science and history.   I can remember him talking about certain things about science and being amazed with the knowledge he had.   He loved the stars and reading about them.  He enjoyed hiking, swimming, camping,  and shooting with his dad and brothers.  Tim loved sitting out on our deck  listening to the creek and whittling on a piece of wood. We had many of our talks out there on that deck.   He had a great love of cooking but really really  enjoyed Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream, Claim Jumper Coconut Crème Pie, those little shortbread cookies in the red package,  and Brown Cow Crème Top vanilla yogurt . 

I know Tim is in heaven now where there are no more tears or struggles.   No longer is he facing the nightmare of addiction.   He is finally free and has found true peace in the arms of his loving Savior Jesus.  

12-31-08    Amanda Davidson - Our memories of Tim could easily be clouded by more recent life struggles that he had faced, but this is how I choose to remember my cousin "Me Me"

My little buddy from the day we met.  Loving, sweet and sensitive.   As a child and a teenager he was passionate about everything he enjoyed.   Music and playing the guitar, bike riding, swimming, and just being out doors.  He was enthusiastic about eating, cooking, and food exploration.  We liked to walk down to "the hammocks" and lie around talking and gazing at the towering pines.  A nice game of "recon" and hike up to the flag was always fun too.   We enjoyed our annual family camping trips and sneaking into grandma's kitchen for a snack.  In the early years he would even let me curl his hair and dress him up on occasion :)  I remember his sweet honest smile, witty personality, and great sense of humor.

I loved my cousin Tim, and will cherish the good times we spent together.

12-31-08    David Schafer -   I am Tim's uncle and knew him his whole life.   I am putting together this website out of respect for him, and I will miss him very much. There are a bazillion things I can share about Tim, but I will keep it down to just a few for now.

We were both Soprano fans, and loved to talk about the show, and we used to have fun talking like we were mobsters.

I always enjoyed when visiting him when he would show me his Albert Einstein action figure, great posters, and memorabilia he got from working at the thrift store.

We were both restaurant enthusiasts.  Tim knew how to order food. Everyone else would get a steak, chicken, ribs,  but Tim would get the combo so he could have a bit of each.  When Tim worked at the Stonehouse Restaurant, he used  to make a special plate of Calamari for us. It was about 4 times as large as we got when Tim wasn't there.   He took good care of us.

I was very impressed with Tim when he was doing his senior project for Nevada Union High School. I helped him do a website about guitars. He did it on his own computer and built it and uploaded without hardly any help from me.   If he had put his energy into it, computers would have been a great line of work for him.

I will keep this website updated as things come in, and please let me know if there is anything that needs attention.  We will miss you Tim
 

Click on Picture to Visit Tim's Gravesite